SF Giants!!

Many people in the art world aren't fans of sports. When I was looking at colleges for my undergrad I remember visiting Drew University. When I took the tour I was obviously taken to various art departments, buildings, galleries, and hangouts due to the fact that my major was going to be fine art. When I asked the question "Where is the pool?" And the head of the swim coach's office, I was stared at blankly. Then she said, "Oh, we don't go to the gym." Like I had to pick one or the other, art or sports.

Now don't get me wrong I'm definitely not the biggest sports fanatic, far from it actually. I am definite more of the artist but I do like sports and participate in them. Especially when it comes to the comradey of it all. So when A serious game like tonight is on, I'm not just an artist I am a sports fan too.

When I asked my fellow art students if they wanted to come down to the local bar in the heart of downtown San Francisco and enjoy having a beer and burger while watching the game, they all declined. They didn't even understand the meaning and reason to why this game is even important. Being around other fans and enjoying the heat, sweat, anxiety, and love for their team is what makes being a fan all about.

Now don't get me wrong I understand it's still midterms and I'm still trying to recover before Mexico but God dammit you have to live and enjoy life and the world around you. San Francisco has one of the best fan bases I have ever seen in America at least and I want to revel in it. So even though I'm a New Yorker and I will always be a Yankees fan. Right now I'm bleeding orange and black.

I was so excited for Mexico...10 more days to go and I came down with some type of cold/virus thing. It fuckin blows...literally. Karma what have I done recently to deserve this. Is it because I have been secretly mad at Karly and I don't know why. I'm not really mad at her and I am trying to get over it. I just don't want to be sick in Mexico, cause that's a great way to show your ex how well you're doing...not!

Ugh maybe I'm over worked, colds are signs that your body is shutting down or needs a little more relaxation, well I didn't feel overwhelmed at least I didn't think so. Maybe my panic attacks would say otherwise. The fact that my anxiety started acting up again may be a sign that I am not as relaxed as I've thought I've been. I'm in grad school god dammit! No one is relaxed, and if they are well then they are flunking.

I've been drinking lots of fluids to try to get this cold out of me before Mexico...please no cold in Mexico. I'm taking extra vitamins and drinking lots of orange juice, room temperature because anything too cold hurts my throat. That is where I mostly feel sick is my throat. I am really hoping to not have strep throat... please no!

I was hoping to look my best at the wedding...maybe even get laid, and who comes walking in sicky mcsickster, ugh gross. Ok I'm gonna try to relax and get rid of this thing in 10 days.

10 Day Countdown to Mexico! 10 Day Cold Countdown!

11 Days till Mexico!!

Yes I am heading to Mexico, Playa Del Carmen! I'm so excited and I have never been there. I will be uploading pictures while I am there as well as I realized I have not yet uploaded pictures of San Fran yet too. I'm waiting on that perfect trolly (cable car) picture of my front yard.

But yes I am going to Mexico, it is for my friends wedding. There will be sun and sand and lots of booze! I want to go snorkeling and swimming and maybe have a spa day. I am trying to get most of my work done before the trip because I want to just reeeelaaaxxxx!!

Writers block is that the same as a creative block. While living in LA I was so concerned about tons of other crazy things in my life instead of my creative self. This is incredibly important not just because I have a blog to write but also because I have paintings to paint and pieces to design. I think that the reason that why I am feeling so blocked. I think with all of my design pieces are for school they seem like work.

Maybe if I started to think about it as fun then it is again. Then I don't feel obliged to do it, it feels better to get the creative juices going. Already living in San Francisco and working on design all the time makes me feel better, really good actually, except when I am not working on my work. When I am "relaxing" I feel like I am not being productive. I want to relax until I don't and then I don't feel motivated to get going again.

Currently my roommate is always working I feel or drawing, digitally that is, because she is in visual development. I feel like she is so productive all the time and her work definitely reflects it. At the same time she feels the same about me. She told me just last night that she felt like she always needs to work because I do.

I have tons a drive, sometimes a little too much because it can hurt the people that I love. But with that said I am also super lazy. I love netflix, as you already know. I also love to "dick around" and do nothing. I love doing nothing, just like the Italians, which is why they take such a long siesta. Maybe they are on to something, maybe if I took a siesta everyday I would be more productive during the times that I am not siestaing? Now thinking about it maybe the time that I veg out averages to the same amount of time that most Italians siesta. Maybe my vegging is a siesta. Huh, now I feel more productive and not so blocked.

This is when I want to write, right now. How fucking convinient! Just as I am getting ready for work, a little early because I have to run to the bank and post office is when I get a creative jolt and my writing comes to me.

Today I was supposed to receive feedback on an autobiography assignment that I handed in on Tuesday. We then are supposed to edit our drafts and hand in our final autobiographies this coming Tuesday. Our autobiographies had to be 1-2 pages. 1-2 pages! I just don't understand. In fact I am quite confused about this because even though I am the ripe old age of 23 I still have a little more to say about myself than two fuckin pages. Now this does not make me conceded, it is just I can write. I organized my thoughts and wrote my autobiography based on location of places where I lived to go with the whole traveler, global soul theme. The problem with my autobiography is that it is too long. When my fellow classmates tried to edit my piece they wrote one comment, "too long." No shit sherlock hence the help from you but since you can't speak english to the point of helping me edit my piece than what the fuck am I doing in this class. I wanted the professor to help me edit my piece and cut it down because none of my classmates did it. Do you know what she said. She emailed me back today with the hoping of exciting feedback on how to shorten my piece down to 1-2 pages. I mean I was looking forward to that email because I want to improve my writing I want to put effort into my work. Well she said that I need to redo the assignment because I didn't really do what she asked for. Excuse me! I wrote an autobiography that was too long. I came into class with my rough draft in hopes that someone could help me cut it down. Isn't that you job as a professor is to help me with my writing, I am in a Masters Writing and Research class, am I not?

Instead she exclaimed that I didn't do the assignment because my paper was too long and she didn't know how to cut it down because it was too good and she didn't want to cut certain parts out. She gave me an extension on the piece but what the fuck I did do the assignment. I was always taught that you could never write too much, well I guess I was wrong. She said that I could not hand in that kind of work to my boss because they wouldn't have enough time to edit it and they would expect a full piece of work ready to go. I'm sorry I thought that the whole reason why I am in grad school is to learn what to do in my professional life like how to write 1-2 pages on myself because apparently that 's what professionals do.

I am a little more butt hurt about this whole thing because yesterday I received a grade that was very unexpected. Granted it is just a midway grade to show me where I stand that will not necessarily end up being my final grade and it just blew my mind. I was a straight A student and when I did receive a B it was granted but never a C student. This is a school that makes their students work hard for a B and it is almost impossible to earn an A. Due to the fact that A's mean professionalism. I'm sorry again I do not understand this because I am in my first year of grad school and I thought that the whole reason why I am in school is to learn what is needed in the professional world. Not that I am expected to bring that in right away when I first walk in. I also find this grading system mind boggling because what is the fucking point of having a range of grades if you are giving a range of work a C. I know for a fact that my portfolio yesterday was better and had more work explorations than others and they received the same grade as I did. There is harsh and then there is just simply impossible.

I don't know about you but when I find something to be impossible it doesn't make me want to reach for it, well thats a lie sometimes it does, but if I try and that particular thing is unobtainable than what is the point of wasting my time. I knew art school would be tough but come on give a girl a bit of a break I do my work really well I deserve a little better than "not accomplishing the assignment" and "earning an average grade."

Well this rant did one thing good and that is telling me how I should handle my autobiography assignment. Maybe instead of writing a location I will write a travel blog instead. I mean I kinda already do something similar like that already so it shouldn't be too hard and it will still encompass the theme of my final piece.

Grad school is hard, even art school. Its tough out there. I am not shy to say that I am one of the better ones in my class but with that said I still did not receive the grade that I would have like to today. It was just a progress grade that won't be averaged but is there to tell you how you are doing. Honestly I'm not doing as well as I thought and really not as well as I would like. But it is good that it is only a progress grade and not a final.

Ugh only until I decided to quit and go get a drink did my internet decide to start working. Yes my answer to boredom is going to get a glass of bourbon. Don't judge me. I still might accomplish this task especially since I don't know what else to do with my life. Yaaay Bourbon!