So I've done exactly what I didn't want to do... I forgot to blog. I actually have forgotten all about this page that I have started. I realized that I haven't blogged in a very long time when I was washing the paint and glue off of my hands from my big project.

Though my big project is not my excuse as to why I have forgot about blogging for so long. I have been working a lot lately, we are so understaffed that it isn't even funny. In fact I worked five days this past week when I am supposed to be part-time and working a max of three days. I'm in Grad School dammit and I need to do well.

I also have been focusing on a project that require a graphic design solution to a problem. The problem is that I do not have a problem. I have been looking at the world like a tourist and studying/analyzing pieces of what I see daily differently. I have also been listening to Ted Talks for ideas. I have been researching past Graphic Design Thesis' and Professional Graphic Designer Thesis' and autobiographies. None of this has helped. I wanted to work off the idea of a global soul from my black book project that I have filled up a book already and I need to purchase a second book.

Now looking back at the project I am thinking that maybe I am supposed to go in a different direction. I shouldn't fight where my tortoise mind is taking me. My roommate and I have come up with a problem tonight, thank god because it is due tomorrow. We think we are on the verge of a breakthrough you know like Napster or Facebook. People and news stations will be reading this blog once I become famous for my fabulous idea of not only a thesis project but a fantastic source for travelers. I have broken away from trying to find a problem that goes hand in hand with a global soul and moved on to the relationship between traveling and having a global soul.

This is ok, I love to travel so it is not a topic that I would hate to study. It is just not where I thought I would be going with this project I was actually hoping for more of a personal reaction instead of a solution for a global good. Maybe the personal finding will come.

Scrap and Scrapbooking

I've been slacking on the blogging because I have been busy with the scrapbooking. I have a final project due where I need to create a mixed media book on a topic. I'm so into this project that it is hard for me not to work on it. I'm cutting up national geographic and taking some of my own pictures. It is a lot of fun!

In order for me to begin this project I traveled to Scrap. When I say traveled I mean it, I took the bart then ordered an uber, who took me to an industrial yard. The driver asked me what I was doing here and I replied saying that I was going to Scrap. He didn't understand what I was talking about and I informed him that Scrap is a store that sells crap for super cheap. It's kinda cool crap though. Tiles, cards, fabrics, magazines, and canvases make up the most of the items there. There are also photos, tires, furniture, etc. you name it, it's probably there. The store should really be called crap. But it was awesome I spent 5 bucks at the store and I won't be needing too much more to fill up my book. In fact I may need to begin another book.

Up here at the top of a hill at Alamo Park I sit and write. I can't believe I'm finally at a park. I keep hearing that parks are where to go and relax in San Francisco but there aren't really any near where I live in San Fran. There is a small one but it doesn't seem very inviting.

I found one that I felt was inviting on my way to the DMV so I decided to stop on my way back from the dmv. Sadly I don't know how many times I will be able to make it back because I did have to take the Bart but when I move to a different apartment in January put of form living I would love to live near a park. By near I mean walking distance no Bart because then I would never go.

Ahhh so relaxing! :)

Hi my name is Laney and I'm addicted to Netflix. I binge on tv shows. I finished watching all of revenge and I started it about a week ago, three seasons in a week. Long seasons and long episodes. I watched all of the OITNB in two days after it came out. New episodes from season 3 of New Girl just came on and I'm almost done with the season…I started today.

Yeah I think I have a problem. In my defense I still get all of my work done for school and work part-time. My blogging has been slacking but that is just because last night I got drunk with some work friends. Is that too crazy. I don't drink much anymore since I live in an apartment/dorm that doesn't allow it so my tolerance has dropped significantly and I'm trying to make friends and meet people. So I think hanging out with new people and getting scoops on upcoming apartments and where to look is a valid excuse for not blogging yesterday… sorry I'm not sorry.

I did pay the price for it though besides the lack of sleep and hangover this morning I lost my usb port for my wireless mouse. Not a huge problem but it is quite inconvenient and those things are so fricken tiny that it is impossible to find. I have no idea when I lost it nor do I remember even removing it last night so I think I knocked it out at some point in my drunken stupor while eating and watching more netflix.

I have no soul.

Well at least my writing doesn't. I learned today in my Master's Writing class that my writing lacks soul.  It hit me a little hard. I've never heard that before. I have heard that my writing is very analytical but usually when that is happening I am analyzing something. I know that I am not a good writer at all. In fact, I am very intelligent and above average on many levels of standard education (which could mean nothing) except for my writing. I am forced to take this master's writing class for my major but I also am excited to take a writing class. I am usually dreading the classes until I take them and then I realize that I need these types of classes in my life because I know I suck.

The problem is that I never knew why. I can remember grammar rules and use them, I have a pretty wide range of vocabulary that always keeps improving with everything that I read, watch and study. I have been told and I have always thought that I write the way I speak. Now unless I speak analytically, which I don't think I do. Why is my writing so dry, why does it lack soul. Do I need to learn more adjectives in order to flavor my writing better. Is it my vocabulary?

When I was in an art history course in my undergrad. We were assigned to journal about different works of art in the beautiful city of Rome, where I was living at the time. My professor did not like my writings but I would also sketch in the same book and she said that those represented what I say better than my writing and to keep sketching instead of writing. In order for me to draw what is in front of me I have been taught how to break and object down into shapes and spaces. My drawings are very analytical even without looking too much like a scientific representation. I have studied Leonardo Da Vinci's work over and over and I believe that his work is to be analytical at its best but for me that's what makes it so interesting. For me and I believe Leonardo as well, when we are sketching an object we are studying it too. This means that we are learning about it why it moves or doesn't. Why it has curves in certain places and straight lines in others. What are the mechanics of the piece. How do I separate this from my writing I break down my thoughts into the mechanics of the piece and forget to add the emotion? I find this to be ironic because I am told that I am a very emotional person. Maybe in my writing I should let my emotions run wild and my work will actually be what someone wants to read.

It's Monday night and I just finished my homework for the rest of the week. Well sorta… I feel like in the art world your work is never really done. At least I feel like mine is never really done. I just need to take a second look at my pieces to make sure that they are what I want to hand in.

When I was in my undergrad my professors had to pull me away from my paintings. They would say Laney, this is finished, I am taking this away from you before you overwork it and ruin it. They were right. I am now coming to the practice of stopping when I have even an inkling that my work is done because maybe that is what it is telling me. I just have to listen.

Speaking of listening I have been listening to Ted Talks as I've been doing my work. I feel much more productive doing that instead of just listening to music. Although I can't always listen to Ted Talks sometimes I just start to zone them out and I am not absorbing the information that I should be. The people that give these talks are so interesting and they live such interesting lives. It actually reminds me of the book that I just read, "The Journey is the Destination." Kathy or Amy Eldon should give a Ted Talk about Dan Eldon's life. Dan's story was truly interesting and inspiring. In fact I would love to hear Amy's point of view on all of the adventures because she went on some of them with Dan. Unlike Kathy who used his work to create a beautiful book maybe Amy has some of her own work.

I bought the book "The Journey is the Destination" because my final project for one of my classes is based off of the beautiful work of Dan Eldon's journals. The project is that we have to create our own journal as well as a final book just like Kathy Eldon did with Dan's journals. We first have to decide what we want the theme of our journal to be.

I kept writing down ideas whenever they would pop in my head of what I would want to design my journal about. I wasn't really settling on one because it wasn't just fitting, you know. But I finally settled on a topic which is the "Global Soul." Similar to the story written by Pico Iyer, who also performed a Ted Talk. The interesting part of the concept of having a global soul is when you do not feel like you have a home. You feel home comes from the people who you love or the things that you love, but a physical home doesn't exist for you. You do not necessarily feel like you belong and can return to one location or group that exist in a location. I definitely feel that I am a global soul and I never had a name for it until last summer when I learned about Pico Iyer.

In conclusion, I am excited to be inspired by two incredible men. One for his work and the other for his ideas. I want to be the one that intertwinds these ideas together.

Oh my gosh! I'm sorry I didn't post yesterday. I was writing a article about Maya Lin for school and I kept thinking about if I wrote on my blog yesterday. I remember thinking that I had to but I couldn't remember if I actually did. I didn't! I'm sorry. I missed a day…oh well, too late now to worry about it. 

People constantly reminisce and feel guilty and mad at themselves for not doing something that they should've done. People need to get off their own backs. If it wasn't meant to be then it wasn't meant to be. Stop regretting. Regret is a useless emotion. We are usually busy people and if we don't have time to do something then we don't have time. If we don't want to do something than we shouldn't do it. Sometimes you have to do something you don't want to do but if you don't face the consequences and own up to the consequences but don't let it affect your life entirely. 

When in a relationship, at least my last one, my ex would say that I make her feel bad because she would feel guilty for not doing something that she probably should have for me. I would simply explain to her that its not me making you feel bad its you guilt. If you don't want to drive up to my apartment then own up to it when you don't drive up. Understand that I will be annoyed but thats just life. Realize that every action has a reaction and sometimes if you don't do something that it has a reaction on someone else sometimes. Own up to it.

So I have been thinking about getting a Tumbler… and then I realize that I probably wouldn't keep up with it, baby steps Laney. I just finished writing for my Graduate Level Writing class. I had to hand write and I am learning that the more I use my hands the more they really suffer. They are so sore after only writing two pages!! But they could also be sore from all of the typing, designing and drawing that I have been doing for my classes for the past two weeks. It is only the first two weeks of school so I am a little nervous.

I had to write about how much I like writing. I like to write though I am not good at it. I like free writing, blogging or journaling because I don't feel pressure also because I write how I think. Whatever comes to mind sort of like a stream of consciousness. I have always been jealous of how my old college roommate was such a good writer. She could just put the words down on the page in perfect grammar. I know what to say just not how to say it correctly. I feel like I have learned the grammar rules, even though I feel like they have changed over the years or almost every English teacher has their own opinion, though I just can't apply them to my own work. I can apply them to the work of others no problem. I like to edit others work. I also like to read. These two skills should make you a better writer but I'm not sure if it has worked for me.

My ex was always a good writer. She would always proof read my work. In fact she even helped me with my entrance essay for grad school because it wasn't that good and they told me to rewrite it. They liked my portfolio and since it is an art school that is important but my entrance essay which I had to write about myself I found difficult. They wanted to know more about my future and honestly I have no fucking clue. I have an idea of what I would like to do but as far as anything to exact I don't know. But she was zoo talented at taking my essay on the fact that I have no idea what I want to do with my life hence the reason why I am going to grad school to tone up some of my skills that I appreciate into something that made me sound like a superstar from NASA.

I think that my bad writing could stem from the fact that my dad would edit my papers and essays growing up so I never learned why something was the way it was. He always would edit my papers and he was never that great of a writer. He was always a finance guy. I believe that math and science people have a much harder time with english and history and vice versa. One of the smartest people I know is my best friend who is going to Pharmacy School she is like me when it comes to writing, our achilles' heel.

Okaaay sorry that I have missed a couple of days I was away in LA. I got into a little bit of a mess with a company that I used to work for so now I am fighting back. All good news of course until the day that I was leaving to drive back 7 hours to San Francisco my phone breaks. Yes I drove because if you do not know, everyone needs a car of some sort to get around in LA. It was cheaper to rent a car and drive than to fly and then rent a car from the airport.

Quick little tip: If renting a car try to rent it from a local rental car location instead of the airport. Sometimes these local locations are not much farther away than the ones that are right at the airport. It is  usually cheaper (I would've said always but I do not want to guarantee anything). The local locations of the same companies such as Enterprise, Dollar, etc. do not have to charge a tourist fee which is automatically charged when you rent a car from an airport. These locations usually do not have return prices too for after hours, but some locations do have a drop box for the keys for after hours. So you can still drop your car off and leave to get on your way. Also these places may have more options available so you have the pick of the lot.

So due to my phone completely breaking on me, both hardware and software I wanted to get a new one. I needed something right away for the GPS to help me get back to San Francisco. I also would have liked a phone that can make phone calls, crazy I know. Just in case something went wrong. I'm a woman traveling alone late at night needs to be able to call for help. The apple store at The Grove was not much help. This does not mean that I am going to write a bad review or anything. I actually like Apple's service and I've had times where they have helped me more than Verizon can. This time it was the other way around. Due to the fact that I've had my phone for so long the power button that stopped working was no longer under warranty, that was the hardware issue. I also had software issues because of all of my storage used up on my phone. So now I have two phones one with more music and notes on it the other with practically nothing on it.

I am looking into upgrading my phone to the 5s because right now I have the 5 and I can do a quick upgrade in the next two weeks. I need to look into the differences but I'm sure that the 5s is better that the 5 or else they wouldn't have made it.

I'm hitting the hay. I haven't slept much last night since I got in at 3:15 and I had an 8:30 class so four hours is plenty of rest right. (I included the hour before class that I have to shower and get ready and what not.) I'll catch up on my adventures again!

Work Hard Play Hard.

Today I started my job as a waitress in the Irish Pub literally right next door to where I live. Its fine for a job and I do hope that I make some friends there. Though I wasn't expecting to work a 7 hour shift. It isn't like it is a big or corporate type of place so you gotta work hard to play hard. It is nice though having some money in my pocket you know. I have to go tomorrow and deposit it before I spend it hehe.

Though when I got home I had to get going on my work. Once I started though it was quite relaxing! Doing what you love doesn't make it seem like work. Though I did pop some Tylenol due to the fact that my legs and feet are super sore. I was nervous about this job because I wasn't that great at my past jobs working as a waitress, to put it plainly, I am a huge klutz. But this one went pretty well except I have to just shrug it off when people want to tell me something its just that I need to learn how to take direction better from those that aren't much older than me.

Goodnight I have the tired gigs. I'm passing ouuuuuuttttt

I am an American

Today was my first day of classes at AAU. I only had one class, Type Forms, which might by my favorite Typography course that I've ever had! I was just thinking I didn't feel like I've done any of my work that is due next week when in reality I did, it just didn't feel like work. In fact my fingers are sore to type now!

My fingers aren't the only things that are sore, so is my back from my backpack, my butt from my stool at my drafting table, and my legs from the San Francisco hills. Not that I'm complaining it actually feels good in a weird way like its actually happening! I'm in fricken art school. I've been wanting to do this for quite some time.

But the topic of this blog is "I am an American." Today in my first class I was the only American student. Majority of the students were from East Asia and then there was a girl from India, a girl from Israel, and a girl from England. I don't know if this is a bad thing. Not gonna lie, I first thought it was, but now I'm thinking that it might be better odds for me in getting in front of someone big…like google, or yahoo, or even GAP. It does make for a different experience. I asked my roommate if it is weird to have so many international students in my class and she said me being the only one is weird but there are a lot at this school she said.

Who knows maybe this could be beneficial for me!

So I hid my porn stash…

I am trying something new I am blogging during the day, usually I blog at the end of the day before I pass out almost like a diary entry but I have down time right now so here we go! I hid my porn and by porn I mean all of my paraphernalia that isn't actually real paraphernalia. My roommate is growing on me though I still want to meet other people that are more like me let's say…

I am going to buy some books for classes. I don't have any classes that need art supplies, is that weird at art school? I am also going to find where there are classes to paint because I would love to have somewhere to go and paint, Though I have a quite large canvas that I know I'm not gonna want to carry  for a 20 minute walk in San Francisco.

I feel like I have nothing really to talk about just yet. My life isn't that eventful. But it is still cool to have a record of things.

No Drinking!

Remember yesterday when I was feeling a little confused as to whether I was living in an apartment or a dorm…well I have now come to the conclusion that it is a dorm. I have already started looking for apartments for the upcoming semester. I met my roommate today and she seems nice but she has been telling me the rules that the Resident Directors just failed to mention.

1. We have a cleaning service that comes in once a week. My new roommie didn't have to tell me about  this one because I accidentally thought the cleaning lady was my roommate moving in. Our room has to be clean for the cleaning lady to clean and if it isn't then we can get in trouble. Now I am not too sure exactly what that means "in trouble" but I don't want to find out nor do I even like the fact that we can get "in trouble." I am 23 years old for god's sake I have been handling myself in the real world of living in an apartment and I wouldn't get in trouble for not having everything picked up on my floor.

2. There is no drinking. This is a big thing for me due to the fact that I like to have a glass of wine every now and again or a glass of bourbon. I am not a huge drinker just like I am not really messy but I thought that the whole point of being in a 21 and over dorm was to be allowed alcohol that other (younger) students weren't allowed. To top it all of my roommate doesn't drink at all. This wouldn't bother except for the fact that I feel judged for even having beer in the fridge that I was offering to her.

3. Health Inspections…why are they called health inspections when what they are actually looking for are prohibited items such as alcohol, candles, coffee pot, furniture brought in from elsewhere, etc. Now these are just some of the items on the list and some of the items that will get me "in trouble." Sorry I'm not sorry for living on my own for two years with normal things in my apartment like alcohol, candles, fucking furniture, and a coffee pot. Its funny how they call it health when the things that they are confiscating can lead to death but honestly what can't. So now I have to hide everything like I am hiding my porn stash from dad.

I wonder what they would think about my weed? haha

"Hey guys it's Laney" is how I would start all my YouTube videos so I figured it was fitting for this as well. Today I finally figured out how to hook up my printer to my computer without the help of my RD, Netgear, HP, Staples staff, etc. I have a wireless printer that has been wireless and worked fine for almost three years now without any crapola. That is until I moved into my dormish style apartment and it would no longer connect via wireless. This I would say is the most important time I would need to use it too, for art school that is.

I say that my apartment is dormish because every time I am in it I feel a little out of place. I have my own private kitchen, bedroom, and bathroom, like any normal studio apartment. Although I also have two drafting tables (which I am actually pretty excited about since I have never owned a drafting table, THEY ARE SO BIG!!!), stools, wire baskets, hardly any outlets, and a bunk bed. I will also be getting a roommate tomorrow, I have never met her. My old roommate and friend in LA told me to email her, now I am a friendly person and an extrovert but I just don't feel the need to contact people through technology. ( I know kind of an oxymoron with what I am doing right now.) But I emailed her, tried to play it cool because I am known to be weird, in fact I do own the term "The Weird Friend;" She emailed me back saying that she thought it was weird that we were roommates because she was supposed to get someone else (another story), she wanted the bottom bunk, the rooms are hard to split up in two (which implied that she has been a student before), and that she was coming much later in time than I was. All of this freaked me out so bad that I did not email her back…EEEEK! I am weird but on the bright side it did give me time to put away my things, which I definitely needed.

I am pretty much settled in pictures are hung, clothes put away, and all of the boxes have been broken down and recycled. Now I guess it is just time to wait.

Tomorrow I have plans to take the BART or Bart…whatever into the mission district, which I hear could be a little sketchy so hence going in the daytime. I do have a plan I am not just going into the "sketchy area" for fun I will be thrifting some of my clothes…selling back? I don't know and the other bad part is that truthfully they aren't all of my clothes, some are my ex's clothes and well they aren't things that I am going to wear nor do I really want. I also have her TV something else that I don't really want. After Buffalo Exchange, because they don't put a limit on the number of items I will be trying to find a shelf thing because like I said above I am sleeping in a bunk bed on the top bunk. There is no where that I can put my alarm clock, phone, or computer once I am about to pass out. It is very inconvenient but I figured since I acted so weird by not answering my new roommie back the least I could do was give her the bottom bunk like she asked.

Well we shall see all of my questions will be answered in the morning, maybe a new friend will walk into my life.